so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
she smelled like a LAN party
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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