i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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