apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
