Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize