These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
