Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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