How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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