Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
