I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
