I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
