I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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