what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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