To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
