Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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