I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
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My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
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I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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