went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
