i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
