Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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