if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
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I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
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I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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