I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
