Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize
