Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
