I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
