We're facebook friends in real life
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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