So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
