I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
