three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It's blow job season.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
