Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
