last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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