In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Randomize
