my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize