Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
