fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
