you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
