Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize
