I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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