You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I wear drunk well.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
