i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
