Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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