oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Green mimosas i think yes
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
