Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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