some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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