My room smells like vodka and shame
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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