i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
