sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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