Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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