Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad