He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
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she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
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There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session