Acid is not a monday night drug
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things Theyâ€™ve Ever Seen In Public
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another JĂ¤gerbomb Tuesday