The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
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The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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