This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
