his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
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You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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