Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
