It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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