am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
