can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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