I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
