just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
