1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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