the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
